So hey, I'm A, You can read about me more on the about me page.

This site is just a place for me to write down my thoughts, some of my thoughts will be about my struggles with life and mental health, some of them will just be random nonsense like idk "oh hey I went for a walk today and saw a squirrel omg!"

"but A why don't you just talk to a therapist???"
I tried, I've contacted a lot and been to a lot, they didnt work, I don't know how to do therapy and they don't tell you and so I just ended up sitting there awkwardly and stuff it sucked, the first one I went to she just kept telling me she didn't want me as a patient the whole session and when I left she emailed saying I shouldn't go back. not my fault I don't know how it works or what I'm supposed to do.
I have 2 friends, who mean the world to me, who say I can talk to them, I'll refer to them as V and M but theres *a lot* of stuff I can't talk to them about you know, like, idk I'm worried they wouldn't want to be my friends if they knew it all.

so yeah, I guess the basic introduction is that I'm autistic, I live with my mum and my sister, and my brother lives nearby, but most of my family kinda made everything worse my whole life, apart from my brother and my aunt, and now I'm just kind of fucked because I can't get help and I don't know what to do and yeah, it sucks, and people will just be like "haha autisms a superpower!!" "haha autism is a joke meme hahahah" but no its actually something that has ruined my life, causes me great pain and discomfort and made me nothing but a burden on my friends, family and society as a whole. Also I'm trans so that doesn't make things easier.

Some good stuff about me, my hobbies, I like to code little random things, a lot of web stuff, some discord bots, Minecraft stuff, I just like making random fun projects, I made this blog from scratch myself :) I enjoy playing games, watching movies and TV, and listening to music, I collect things too, mostly video games, Pokemon cards and LEGO. I also like driving and often I'll just go and drive around for hours listening to music, if I can afford the fuel.

Anyway, I'll post some more at some point, it probably won't be anything good or worth reading, and it will probably just be sad, depressing and cringy ramblings of a mad person, but hey I'll also post some reviews of movies and shows and games and stuff so look forward to those maybe!!!

~A