So, I had this really good friend, I'll refer to him as E. I met him the same week I came out as trans, he's trans too, came out not that long before me, so we were basically transitioning together, just in the opposite ways. He lives in the USA I'm in the UK, so we were long distance friends, we texted all day every day, we called, we talked in servers and communities, inseparable. We had a lot in common and we had a lot of differences to compliment eachother too, we would help each other and be there for each other. On Discord our message count was 400,000 in our dm's and 100,000 in a group chat, and thats not including calls and servers and other chat apps.

Whenever we were having a tough time, we'd be there for each other, we'd help each other, but a lot of the time he made me feel like he *had* to do it and didn't care, he didn't *want* to be there for me, just had to be. He was a very self centred person, if something wasn't about him it made him upset, a good example of this is that I have *many* messages from E where he'd be screaming and shouting and crying because his girlfriend went to a sports game, he didn't like sports so didn't go, she *loved* sports, and would go once a week or so, and he'd LOSE HIS MIND that she went to watch baseball instead of spending time with him, despite the fact they went on weekly dates and spent a lot of time together anyway. He'd message me saying things like "god I hope she dies I hate her so much" and I never knew what to say, but yeah, the point of that was just to point out how much everything had to be about *him*.

I'd buy him gifts a lot, give him money, gift cards, video games, all sorts, and he'd always act like "ohhh nooooo dont do that but if you're going to heres my bank info and email and cashapp and paypal" and then I found out from a mutual friend that he'd always be like "hmm ok so I don't want to spend my own money and buy my own things so I try to manipulate people to get me stuff!" which just ugh. He'd do the same with his girlfriend too, she had a good job and a some what well-off family and would spend so much money on E.

When he was sad he'd act like if I didn't reply or I didn't know what to say or how to help that I was a bad friend, he'd act like I was a terrible person if he was saying something I didn't understand properly and I'd say "sorry I don't really know how to help". Sometimes I'd tell him stuff like "oh wow thats big and tricky maybe you should talk to your therapist about it?" because like, I'm struggling and mentally not great and idk how to help him if hes suicidal because his girlfriend went to a baseball game, but no I had to have all the answers or I'd be terrible.

Last year I finally saved enough to visit him, for his birthday, in New Jersey (Newark), we planned it in advance, he knew I was going, his girlfriend knew, everyone knew well in advance, and he very much knew of my anxiety and autism issues. then it finally comes to the week of my visit and I get there after 12 hours of travelling, on my own, terrifying, he picks me up at the airport and had previously said "when you land we'll take you to get some food then take you to the airbnb" but he did not take me to get food, and I was too anxious and scared to eat on the plane or at the airport so I went the full day without eating.
He dropped me off at the airbnb then went to his own airbnb with his girlfriend, I passed out instantly and slept because damn I had a stressful day. The next day was his birthday, the whole reason for my visit, he had said many times "I desperately want you to be here for my birthday someday!" stuff like that, anyway, I wake up the day of his birthday, in an airbnb on my own in a strange country, and what do I see? He's gone to walk around a park and a mall in the city he lives in, with his girlfriend, as his birthday activity, so I end up sitting in the airbnb on my own *all day* getting regular text updates about what a great time they're having together.
The airbnb had no food and I didn't know how to do doordash or anything so I didn't eat for that day too, 2 days no food. we get to about 7pm that day and they do come to my airbnb, we get some tacos, go to walmart for food, they drop me at the airbnb and then they leave.
I visited my best friend for his birthday, as he wanted me to, and he spent the day doing pointless mindless things instead.
I spent £1,000 on the plane tickets, I spent £1,200 on the airbnb, and I put myself through 12 hours of stress and worry just to visit him.

The next day he came to the airbnb without his girlfriend and he stayed with me for the rest of the week, that was great at first, we watched movies and tv, ate snacks, ordered takeout, it was great, but then the very next day what do I find out? thats right, he didn't get any time off work, as a part time starbucks employee. He'd go to work and I'd be sat in the airbnb on my own, not only would he go to work, but he'd have me pay for an Uber so he could get there and back from the airbnb, I paid about $150 in ubers for him to go to work while I was there. for the 10 days I was there he had I think 2 days off work, and we did do stuff on those days, we went to the mall which was fun, his girlfriend came with us, she was a good friend of mine too so that was great, but E would be on his phone like 90% of the time, with his earphones, watching tiktok while we walked around the mall, and I'm supposed to be the anti social one...
Then on saturday, we did something I've always wanted to do, go to the zoo with a friend. I got us an uber, I paid for both our tickets, I got us both plushies in the gift shop, we took pictures in a photobooth thing and we rode the zoo train, but when it came to actually looking at the animals, E sat on a bench talking to someone on his phone the whole time, and I walked around on my own taking pictures and looking at everything. After that we went to iHop, it was alright I guess, it cost me like $60 for 2 people to eat which just seemed crazy expensive but whatever, E ordered for me since I was anxious so thats cool.
After iHop we did something we'd been planning for a looooong time, we went to get piercings together, E had previously found a place online that was good, he'd booked to go there, it was near his work, had good reviews etc, but when it came to it, he decided actually we needed to go to one closer to the airbnb instead, so he found one on google maps and we just went there, the place we ended up going was *terrible* it was dirt and disgusting and run down and expensive, I had my septum and ears done, he had his ears and angel bites done, it cost me $250.
During the process he was great, he helped me keep calm and he held my hand, reassured me, got the piercer to pause and stuff when I needed it and I was very nervous. After we left he *immediately* too his ear piercings out saying he didnt like it, so that was $50 wasted, then we walked back to the airbnb, and the whole time we were walking, he was on the phone to some random girl from work who he said he barely even knew, but he just had to call with her and tell her all about the piercings, so I just walked behind him in silence.

Oh, also, while we were in the uber from the zoo to the iHop, E was checking his online banking to see if he'd been paid and I looked over and saw he had like $7,000 in there, and he didn't pay rent due to being in a homeless apartment program thing, so all this money I'd been spending and he had plenty to help out.

The day before I went home we went to Panera bread with his girlfriend, it looked good but I had run out of money and couldn't get anything, so I sat and watched them eating, while they looked at tiktok and instagram on their phones, so I sat in silence awkwardly. Then it came to me going home, I had contacted my mum and she'd given me $100 so I could get an uber to the airport, which was great, but E convinced me that actually I just need to grow up and take the train, so I let him convince me, and I took the train instead, on my own, through new jersey and new york city, it was stressful and I hated it.

The trip was terrible from my POV, but also it was everything I'd ever wanted, I finally got to hang out with a friend, I finally got to experience a social life, even if it was terrible.
One thing I want to add is that I wanted to visit New York City, since we were in Newark which is like, right there, I asked multiple times if he'd go with me, he said he didn't want to, he said it would've been boring, not interesting and not worth it, so we didn't go, and I was sad. Then about 2 weeks after I got home, E and his girlfriend went to NYC together, for the whole day, and had a great time. what the fuck.

I closed my Minecraft server because of him too, he didn't play, he had an account (i bought him it) and he did go on the server from time to time, maybe 1 hour every 2 or 3 weeks, but he'd get so annoyed and mad whenever I tried to make changes to *my* server, whenever he thought my ideas were bad or pointless, even if the players liked it, so I just shut the server down and didn't tell anyone why, but it was because I didn't want my friend to be upset with me.
Shortly after that I just spent some time looking back at everything, looking back at how he'd treated me, looking back at my trip to see him, and I kind of exploded and lost it, I got mad with him and tried to tell him stuff, and he was like "wow ok A we should take a break from being friends!! bye!!!" and after about 2 weeks of not talking to him I tried to message him, but I was upset so I exploded again, and that was the end of that, no more friends.

During that he took my Discord server from me, that I'd spent 2 years building, I put so much work and effort into it, and he took it, and I check it now from time to time, and its dying and failing, its lost 350 members since he got rid of me.

It's funny looking back at when we first met, his previous best friend had messaged me trying to warn me that E was terrible, and that he'd treat me like shit, and I ignored it, and now here we are, I thought about messaging his new best friend to warn them, but, well, didn't work for the last one...